Spoiler Alert: Beware of minor spoilers for some of the titles on this list.
Happy Spooktober! We’re celebrating the scariest, most haunted month of the year with another of my horror hypotheticals!
I’ll briefly go over the format so we’re all on the same page. In this hypothetical scenario, I’m going to imagine that I’ve been magically whisked away (or isekai’d, to use some anime lingo) to a fictional world. These settings all come from films or TV shows, and what they all have in common is the presence of a monster! The monsters I’ll encounter will be bound by the rules of their respective fictional worlds, and it’ll be up to me to survive – alone – for 48 hours. I’ll give a simple score out of ten for how easy I think survival would be – and in my conclusion, I’ll pick the least-bad monster that I’d choose to face off against… if I absolutely *had* to!
The monsters I’m going to hypothetically encounter will not necessarily be aggressively trying to hunt me down; they’ll simply be existing in their worlds on their own terms. However, if and when they become aware of my presence, the rules of each fictional setting will dictate what happens next. For some monsters, that could mean they want to eat me or steal my soul right away, but others may be less bothered! I will be dropped into a typical part of the world where these monsters exist, so some settings might allow for more time to run away or hide than others.
As always, my usual caveats apply! Firstly, this is just meant to be a bit of Halloween-themed fun, so please keep that in mind! And secondly all of this is just the *subjective, not objective* opinion of just one person – a person who is not, generally speaking, a huge fan of horror! If I miss a detail because I’ve only seen some films in a franchise, if my plan to survive seems unrealistic to you, or you just don’t agree with my take on these villains from horror and horror-adjacent titles… that’s okay! There ought to be plenty of room for polite differences of agreement!
I wrote a similar piece last Halloween, so if a monster you hoped to see isn’t here, maybe it’s because I covered them last year! Click or tap here to check it out.
With all of that out of the way… let’s get isekai’d to some horrific monster-filled worlds!
Option #1:
Gwi-Ma
KPop Demon Hunters
Though KPop Demon Hunters has roots in Korean folklore and history, Gwi-Ma is actually a unique creation for the film. He’s presented as the “King of Demons,” ruling over the underworld and with legions of lesser demons at his beck and call. The challenge here is to survive *alone*, so I can’t just get on the phone to Huntr/x and ask for help!
In the film, Gwi-Ma exists in the underworld (at least until the climax of the story), so if I can avoid going there, that’s a good start! But Gwi-Ma is capable of dispatching his minions to the surface, sending them to slip through the magical barrier that shields the human world from demons. Demons can assume human form, they can hypnotise people, and most importantly… it would only take one touch from a single demon to end my run. This is a toughie… I guess I’d try to find an empty building or apartment, barricade the door, and hold out for 48 hours alone. However, if Gwi-Ma decided to target me specifically, and I have no allies or helpers to call on? I’m pretty sure I’m screwed!
Survival Odds: 2/10
Option #2:
The Borg Collective
Star Trek franchise
The Borg are basically cybernetic zombies; if they catch you, they’ll assimilate you and forcibly convert you to serve their hive mind. Again, the challenge is to survive alone, so I can’t just call on Starfleet for help! But in this case, being *alone* could be a blessing in disguise. See, the Borg conquer at scale – while they can be interested in lone individuals, their real interest is in planetary conquest and assimilating whole species at once. A single individual – if perceived as either nonthreatening or simply not useful – could just be ignored.
We see this with the crew of the Enterprise-E; Borg drones concentrated on their tasks and ignored Picard and the crew if they weren’t a direct threat. And the Borg have even chosen to ignore whole races – like the Kazon – if they considered them “unworthy” of assimilation. So if I can manage to stay nonthreatening and useless for 48 hours (and I’m pretty sure that I can), then I might just get through this… even if I’m dropped in the middle of a Borg planet or a Borg cube!
Survival Odds: 6/10
Option #3:
Dinosaurs
The End of Oak Street
I enjoyed this year’s dino-themed horror-thriller The End of Oak Street. It was an inversion of the Jurassic Park formula; dinosaurs arrive in a suburban neighbourhood instead of people visiting a dino-themed park. But the dinosaurs made for genuinely threatening and dangerous monsters – breaking into houses with ease, eating most of the people in the neighbourhood… so, yeah. This is gonna be a hard one!
Even if I were safe and secure inside my own house… well, my house ain’t exactly dinosaur-proof. It wouldn’t be hard at all for some of the smaller carnivores to break in, let alone that giant snake-like creature. Hiding in the attic *might* work for a while, as it’s away from doors and windows, and honestly, trying to hunker down and shelter in place makes way more sense than going charging around the neighbourhood. But it would only take one or two dinos breaching my house (or whatever house I’m sheltering in) to force me out into the open… and that would almost certainly end my run!
Survival Odds: 3/10
Option #4:
“Death Angel” monsters
A Quiet Place
I haven’t seen A Quiet Place’s sequel or prequel, so I might be missing some context here! However, the premise of the nameless monsters – which fans have referred to as the “Death Angels,” so that’s the name I’m gonna use – is that they’re attracted to sound, and have *incredible* hearing, able to detect the tiniest noises at great distances. This can be a weakness, though, as they’re sensitive to particular frequencies… but let’s be honest, I’m not getting that far!
One snore, one clearing of the throat, one meow from a nearby cat, one fart… that’s all it takes to attract the Death Angels. And 48 hours suddenly seems like a *long* time to survive in the world of A Quiet Place if you can barely breathe, or every footstep is potentially ringing the dinner bell for these monsters. Even trying to stay as still as possible in a single place has its limits – and involuntary noises, or noises made by something or someone nearby, comepletely out of my control, would be enough. I don’t think I’m making it through this one!
Survival Odds: 1/10
Option #5:
Count Orlok
Nosferatu
Count Orlok, who was based loosely on Count Dracula, is one of cinema’s classic monsters; the archetypal vampire. If he’s moved into my town or otherwise set his sights upon me… I think I’m in trouble! The Count is out for blood, and with no one to help, if he targets me… I don’t see how surviving for 48 hours is gonna be possible. I mean, sure, I’d be okay in daylight hours – if I could avoid the Count’s castle – but at night? That’s when the danger is at its peak.
In the film, only a pure-hearted maiden can destroy a vampire, by offering herself to him willingly. And, uh, I don’t know if you’ve met me… but I’m not a pure-hearted maiden. So that’s not an option! Running away and hiding, trying to put as much distance between the Count and myself could work; using daylight hours to get a head-start and get as far away as possible is basically my strategy, and *maybe* 48 hours would be doable. But I suspect this’ll end with a bitten neck and a loss of blood.
Survival Odds: 2/10
Conclusion:
So… which monster do I pick?
As weird as this feels to say as a big Star Trek fan… I think the Borg are gonna be my choice. If I could come across as nonthreatening (or merely useless to them), they’d ignore me entirely, and I think I might be able to find an out-of-the-way hidey-hole on whatever Borg-dominated vessel or planet I end up on to just wait out the 48 hours. It wouldn’t be fun, and I doubt I’d get any sleep! But compared to the other options? Yeah… the Borg take the win!
Gwi-Ma and Count Orlok both have supernatural powers, so if a target’s painted on my back and they’re coming for me? I don’t think there’s enough room to run away nor a safe enough place to hide! The dinosaurs from The End of Oak Street are animals – but there are so many of them, and some of them are so large, that surviving for that long seems impossible. And the Death Angels from A Quiet Place are so sensitive to sounds that one trip, stumble, or sneeze would be enough to draw their attention. The Borg… because of their tendency to ignore you if you’re not a direct threat, or if they’re just busy doing other things, are the least-bad option.
So that’s my answer! If you told me I’m about to be isekai’d to one of these worlds, and my challenge is to survive for 48 hours with one of these monsters? It’s gonna be the Borg.
I hope this has been a bit of fun, and a slightly different way to celebrate the spookiest month of the year than just talking about a few horror films or TV shows. I enjoyed putting this list together, in any case!
Earlier this year, I reviewed horror films like 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple, Iron Lung, The End of Oak Street, and Backrooms. Click or tap any of those links to check out those pieces. And don’t miss last year’s horror hypothetical, which was kinda similar in format. You can find it by clicking or tapping here. Finally, if you want to check out my remembrances of Halloween in years gone by, I have a more personal and introspective piece on the holiday and my memories of it. Click or tap here to give it a read.
Thanks again for joining me! And don’t have nightmares…
All titles, creatures, and characters discussed above are the copyright of their respective studio, distributor, publisher, etc. This article contains the thoughts and opinions of one person only and is not intended to cause any offence.
